Words You Never Thought You'd See in a Job Posting

Another Craigslist posting to which I had to draw your attention, this one is for a feature film. I've included just the last part of it:

"We need all types of people to reflect the shit hole that is Newark.... and really bring it to life on the big screen. So the more felonies you have on your record the better!"

So, all you felons out there, who have lamented your plight again and again on job application after job application where you have had to fill out your criminal history and explain it in detail and read the company's words saying that your criminal record will not necessarily disqualify you for the job and know that despite this, you are starting out at an automatic disadvantage...all of you, flock to this job posting, and be glad: