The Holidays

Well, it's the holiday season. And I feel obligated to write something about it. Not that I really have anything to say. But what would people say if I wrote nothing about the holidays during this time? I shudder to think. So here I am. I suppose there are some things I could say.
I was in the elevator today with someone who works in the building where I live. I asked him something like "Ready for the holidays?" You know, one of those types of things we always say when searching for something to say in the elevator to someone we don't know all that well. His reaction was interesting. He said, "Oh, yeah, tryin' to. So much pressure. Tryin' to give the right gifts, figuring out how to afford them, rushing around everywhere. Put me six feet under, man."
I believe that's the first time I've heard someone welcome death in response to the holidays. I said, "C'mon, man, the holidays are supposed to be a happy time," and at that point he did say he was thankful for his wife and kids and all the blessings he had. But after saying he wished he were dead. I mean, I think he was exaggerating, but still, isn't it sad that people have this type of response to a season which is supposed to bring joy and love to everyone? I feel as though people stress the importance of focusing on family and the things that really matter (instead of the things that stress us) every year, and yet plenty of others still sweat the shopping and the presents and the party-planning and cooking. Something's wrong here. The easy answer is to make Christmas less commercial and bring it back to its roots. A Christmas tree and presents, while I really enjoy having them each year, are not really symbols of Jesus. Okay, yes, Jesus got presents on his first birthday, but that's because he was Jesus. Other children and adults are not Jesus. As for the tree, I'm not really sure why that came about. I'm sure there's a reason, and sometime I'll go find out what it is. But not now.
Chanukah is far less commercialized than Christmas, but people still run around like maniacs trying to get gifts for it. And I don't know enough about Kwanzaa and any other holidays that may be celebrated at this time to write anything about them. Well, there you have it. Happy Holidays, everyone, and please try to focus on what they really mean and not let that get lost in the hustle-bustle of gift-shopping and party-planning.

Infidelity

Did anyone see that news segment this morning about the co-hosts of that Daystar Christian Television Network? Well, the male host came on to acknowledge his past infidelity and talk about it, after there was a whole scheme devised by several people to blackmail him, but I'm not going to get into all the details of that. What I wish to discuss is an interesting point raised by the couple's counselor and friend. Good Morning America showed a clip of the couple at counseling with this friend, who was trying to help put things in perspective for the two troubled lovers. He said, and I paraphrase, "Okay, Marcus made a mistake, once, and was unfaithful, but it was with a woman. It wasn't with a man, it wasn't with a transvestite, it was a woman."
Hmmm.
Where do I begin? Aside from being a spectacularly weird statement, it is also not, in my opinion, a good defense of what Marcus did. How is cheating with a woman better than cheating with a man, transvestite, animal, alien or anyone else? I don't know, and I can't see how this would make Marcus's wife, Joni, feel any better. I believe what the man was trying to say was that, at least, Marcus was not breaking the Christian rule of having sexual or romantic relations exclusively with members of the opposite sex. So he was only breaking one rule, that of remaining faithful, and not two.
But if he had cheated with a transvestite, would that necessarily be breaking the rule of exclusivity? A transvestite is not a transgendered person; a transvestite is merely someone who dresses up as a member of the opposite sex, like the hilarious British comedian Eddie Izzard. So if Marcus had had an affair with a transvestite who was a woman dressed as a man, he would still be having relations with a woman, and thus would not be breaking the rule. Unless there is a rule in the
Bible of which I am not aware forbidding one from having relations with someone dressed as a member of the opposite sex. It may be in there; I don't know. If his partner in crime were a man dressed as a woman, then yes, this would be breaking the rule, since the person would still be a man.
Now, say the person was transgendered; would Marcus be breaking the rule then? How could one tell? The person is in between genders. Does the Bible have a rule about that? I don't think so. I highly doubt that being in-between genders is something that would even have been dreamed of at the time the Bible was written. Maybe there is a way to measure which gender the person embodies more; if the person is at least 51% male, then I suppose having relations with this person would be breaking the exclusivity rule. However, if he/she is 50% or less male, then you must acquit!

Hypocrisy!

Have you seen the commercials about how much food is wasted every day or every week or month or year in this country or state or city? I just saw one that I found particularly troubling. It took place in a New York City subway station. A young lady was walking and talking to the camera when a train arrived filled with green apples. The doors opened and tons of apples spilled out everywhere. The mysterious disembodied voice emanating from the PA system announced, "Every day, [however many] pounds of food are wasted in this city. Go to [website] to learn more and help stop the waste!" But the makers of that commercial just wasted, oh, I don't know, hundreds if not thousands of pounds of apples to make that statement. So how is that helping? Okay, yes, it may make people more aware of waste and help to curb such waste in the future. But they still wasted a ton of food. Unless...wait a minute...unless the apples were fake! Like those false apples you see in people's fruit baskets in their houses, which are put there to make the people seem more health-conscious than they really are. And sometimes they look so real that you pick one up and start to polish it and it's not until you actually take a bite that you realize you've been duped. Oh, c'mon, I'm not the only one that's happened to! Anyway, back to my point--I don't think these apples were fake. They certainly looked and sounded like real apples as they tumbled out of the train and fell on the cold stone floor as I watched, helplessly, from my living room. Granny Smith, wherever she is, is crying her eyes out right now. Or rolling in her grave if she has passed away. I just don't know. Never had the pleasure of meeting her. Well, I think I've made my point.

...With The Stars

So I'm not sure how many of you are aware now, but the popular TV show "Dancing with the Stars" has inspired a spin-off: "Skating with the Stars." Now I would think that has got to be a bit more challenging. Unless you are a champion skater. In which case you would not be eligible for the competition, out of fairness to the other contestants. To skate and dance at the same time? That's gotta be tough. But that's not the point I'm trying to make here. The point is...where is this "with the Stars" business going to end? What's next? "Cooking with the Stars?" "Marathon Running with the Stars"? How about "Nascar with the Stars"? I'm full of ideas. Come on, Hollywood. Give me a chance. I could make a killer hit out of "Wife Swap with the Stars".

Email

Have you taken a look in your spam folder recently? Perhaps you should. You really might get a kick out of what you find there. I happen to get a lot of spam. I'm not sure why. I don't go to pornographic web sites. I know that's what you're thinking, so let's just nip that one in the bud, shall we? But seriously, I get a lot of spam, and some of it is just ridiculous. I used to get these messages about growing giant blueberries. I never opened them, obviously, because who knows what kind of computer-destroying or identity-stealing viruses might have awaited me inside? But I could tell from the subject line what the message was about, because it would say "Grow Giant Blueberries" or "Increase the Size of your Blueberries Tenfold!" or some other ludicrous thing. Who the hell is trying to grow giant blueberries? Well, apparently someone. I mean, how else do they get that "World's Largest Blueberry" and similar attractions? I don't know if there really is a world's largest blueberry. I mean, obviously, there is, somewhere, but I'm not sure if it is an attraction. But you get the picture.
Anyway, I can understand why blueberries and male enhancement drugs end up in my spam folder...but why do messages from myself? That's right. I email myself a message...from myself...and it ends up in my spam folder. And not at the top either, sometimes. It quite often ends up a few items down in the folder. How's that work? My spam filter is evidently pretty strict, seeing as it catches not only spam, but also messages that could not possibly be spam. Way to go, email. I have Yahoo mail. I've heard Gmail has better spam filters, so that messages about giant blueberries and giant sex organs will not end up anywhere, not even in your spam folder. However, when I attempted to open a Gmail account, and succeeded, I elected to have email forwarding from my Yahoo account, and the forwarding stopped after a little while and has not resumed since. This is probably somehow my fault, but until I figure out how, I will not admit it. And I know Gmail is part of Google, which runs this blog, but I have to be honest with my readers here. I hope that once I do get my Gmail account up and running, I will not be receiving messages about how to grow radishes that will break free of their roots and form a mafia to take out unwanted pests and neighbors. Although that would be far more interesting than giant blueberries or penile enlargements. Or penile enlargements for your giant blueberries. Why do your blueberries have penises? What are you asking me for? How should I know?

We're all human...here's to being self-aware

So, I was thinking the other day about something I find interesting. There's a vague statement. Allow me to elaborate. I was listening to a long, boring, far-too-detailed voice message someone had left on my machine, getting irritated, sighing, exhaling forcefully, you know, the usual response. After that, I had to make a call, and had to leave a message, and about a minute or so into it, I realized I was doing the exact same thing I had just privately criticized and cursed someone else for--leaving a long, drawn-out, minutia-laden message. I laughed to myself, called to my fiance to tell her how funny it was that I had just caught myself doing this, couldn't get her attention, had to yell for her to turn off the hair dryer, had to yell two more times before she did, finally told her, as I laughed some more. Her response? "That's great, babe. Why don't you hang up now." I had totally forgotten that I was still connected. That message was going on three minutes. Far longer than the message the other person had left me. It's good to be self-aware.
I've become more self-aware about quite a few things recently. Question: How many times can you check your watch or the time on your cell phone and still have no idea what time it is? I've definitely done it at least three times on multiple occasions. What does that tell me? I have horrible short-term memory. No, it tells me I'm not paying attention. I'm distracted, thinking about the long message I just left someone, or trying to remember if I checked my apartment door enough times (at least three) to make sure it was locked before walking away.
It's funny how when there are too many things going on in your head at once, it appears to others that there is nothing going on in your head.
But why does this happen? Why are we so distracted so often? I think part of the problem is over-stimulation. Think of the sheer volume of media and advertisements to which we are exposed on a daily basis, from numerous sources. How could we be anything but distracted? The answer is: By developing filters in our minds which retain what we need and let slip through what we don't. It's easy to let all this visual and auditory stimulation wash over you, and, to be honest, a lot of it does just go in one ear or one eye and out the other, but when you really stop and think, there is a lot of it that stays with us. I can at least speak for myself when I say that I will see or hear an advertisement relating to my career or my interests or something I've been meaning to do, and I will think about it extensively. And then I'll hear or see another, and think about that one, and so on. I think this is especially true for ambitious people and chronic multi-taskers, both of which I am.
When our minds become over-stimulated and flooded with all these thoughts and "notes to self," we need to find a way to clear the air and become focused again. There are many ways to do this, but I feel one of the best is meditation. Pop on some headphones if you like and listen to some relaxing music, do some deep breathing, and try to think about nothing. Believe me, it's harder than you think. But it will help you to feel less stressed, less overwhelmed, and more focused. I think you will find that you can actually accomplish more by thinking less.
Meditation can also provide the cure for what I believe to be the other main cause of distraction today: The breakneck pace of modern living. Especially in urban environments but also in the suburbs, we live life in the fast lane. We tell ourselves that we need to slow down, but we sometimes can't seem to escape the race. Set aside time for yourself to do nothing but sit or lie down, breathe and free your mind. You'll probably find that a lot of the things you thought were so important to do right now can either wait or be dismissed from your agenda altogether. I believe you will find it a very liberating experience, and you will probably lead a more relaxed and rewarding life. Many people say, "I don't have time to meditate!" But therein lies the problem: If we are too focused on time, we cannot make time to let go of time. It is in the absence of time that we find peace.

WAFFLE CRISP is highly addictive

Are you familiar with the cereal Waffle Crisp? It is sweet and delicious and composed of tiny little waffles soaked in syrup. I used to love it as a child, and then it disappeared for years, YEARS, and then the unthinkable happened...I found it again, in an A&P grocery store in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York, my new home. I bought a box, and consumed it in a single day. A matter of a few hours, really. I just couldn't get enough of it. So I went back a couple days later and bought another box, which I proceeded to consume again in a single day. Hmmm...that's interesting. Again, as soon as the sweet taste of syrup-soaked waffle in cold milk hit my tongue, a sensation so divine and delightful shot through the sensory receptors in my brain and I felt pure happiness. I bought another box. And then another. I have not been able to make a box of Waffle Crisp cereal last longer than two days since I found it again here in New York. I can only conclude that Waffle Crisp...must be laced with cocaine. They should call it Waffle-cane. Or Waffle-ocaine Crisp. I'm just kidding. Now you can't sue me, Post Cereals. And if you did, I would no longer buy your cereal. Well, I would TRY not to buy it. But, addictions can be hard to break...